Narcissus

A Greek myth. A living legend. Narcissus is still gazing at his own reflection. Up til today!

Last Saturday I felt so great. I was becoming a speaker in Sekolah Demokrasi, a school teaching democracy. It was my first experience. To speak in front of the class. With a bunch of students with various backgrounds; NGOs, journalists, and political parties. And it's still not enough. I was the only speaker, for the duration of almost 4 hours! The thing is, we are on 'different' sides. Like water and fire. Like Tom the Cat and Jerry the Mouse.

It's not easy to deliver my message to them, since we already have different perspectives in mind. But it's really a challenge for me. And I love it! I love when they listen to my presentation. Love more when they argue, debate and even attack my explanation. One of them, beyond my expectation, made a poem for me. It's a satire. Hit me very hard! But still, I accept that as freedom of expression. Yess folks! This is democracy!

I give myself 9 out of 10. For that very first time lecture I gave.
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That's how I see myself that day. There are days when I just can see myself so clearly. And there are other days too when the reflection is so dark that I see nothing but black.

Seeing your own self can be misleading if 'the mirror' is your ego. Narcissus is so often seeing his own reflection through a pool in the forest. In his case, the mirror is not just his ego, it's also his lack of knowledge. He fell in love with the beautiful man he saw in the pool. He didn't realize that the man is his own reflection.

The hardest part for us is actually to find the real mirror. That mirror called honesty. It is how you can see your own self without any prejudice. It's just you, the real you. Although sometimes you need to see from 'other mirror' too. You need to see yourself from other people's eyes. It will help you to get a clearer reflection of you when your own mirror probably is getting dirty. But be careful, those other mirrors could be very tricky. It will depends on what kind of people you reflect your own self into. Family, real friends, honest people or just someone so nice in front of you with hidden agenda that only your back knows? (too bad your back can't tell you the truth).

There's nothing wrong to create good effects to make your reflection looking good. But the most important thing is not to make your reflection looking good. How you are being comfortable with your honest reflection is the most important one. Accept yourself, no matter how bad the reflection you see in front you is. Although everybody wants to see the most beautiful piece of him/herself.

Narcissus is in every of us.